Crazy week? CRAZY LIFE!

I mentioned in a previous post that I was moving. Well, I still am. We are still chugging along with the packing and moving, packing and moving. Man, I will be excited when that is not a routine I am in anymore. I am so tired of packing and moving. This is the reason that I have been blog absent. Not that a whole mass of people read my blog and miss me. But it is something I said I would do and I continue to. This is just a tough time and I have to stay focused.

Speaking of staying focused. Today is the day. Brian sold his car on eBay last week and the guy is coming to pick it up today. We are so nervous. We are in a tight spot and really need this guy to come through. Brian said that he is not confident, but for the sake of both of us I hope he is wrong. We both feel like we have hit rock bottom, and this car selling would push us in the right direction, all the moving stress is not helpful for the situation either. I asked B yesterday, "Is there something we are supposed to learn from all this?" He had no idea. There has to be a reason why we are facing all these struggles. Don't get me wrong this year is by far better than last, but it still is throwing us handfuls of trials. We are good people, I know, I know that does not have anything to do with it. I just feel like we are doing everything that way that it should be done. What more can we change.

I am not a very religious person and neither is B, but I can honestly say that yesterday I tried to pray. Not for everything to be perfect and work out in our favor. I prayed because I need a reason, I need help to get through this. I don't want to sound like a hypocrite, it was very hard for me to even consider praying. I honestly think I did not do a very good job. I am always being told from other believer's that he hears all prayers. So maybe.... Brian even said himself, "Maybe I need to rethink this God thing." I know it sounds trite but there has got to be something out there trying to teach us something. We cant seem to figure it out on our own. I was raised in a Baptist church, and I never caught on to the all the talk about religion. Maybe my faith could be restored with some sort of sign. A sign that tells me I am not alone in all this, that there is a plan and I will someday know what all these struggles are supposed to teach me.

Well. Until then I guess I will persevere and try and figure it out on my own. If Brian does not sell his car today. I don't know what we are going to do, but I do know that living the way we are is not good for anyone. Something HAS to change.

I  know that this is a heavy post. Well heavy for me at least. This is something that we have been struggling with for the last two years and things seem to be improving but at a turtles pace. I do have a couple of moving photos that I can share. They will put some smiles on some faces, including mine.