This is going to be long.....

This weekend was so much fun, but it was long at the same time. Warning, it is going to contain a lot of words and pictures. Don't say I didn't warn you.

The weekend started of with me getting out of work early Friday so we could make the trek to Pleasanton to watch Nessa's softball team play. They stunk it up big time. Oh well I guess. I am usually chasing after Averie during the games, so I maybe see 15 minutes of the hour and a half game. I was looking forward to checking into the hotel. I love hotel living. I think because it is a lot like apartment living. Everything is so accessible, and this Marriott had a Starbucks. Woot Woot! Yes I had a coffee at 10:00pm. There is never a bad time for Starbucks. EVER! Brian ordered a brownie sundae. Nothing like a four dollar coffee, and a five dollar sundae.

HIS

HERS

They were both Delish!

After our sugary indulgences, it was time for bed. Averie slept with us which was a total mistake. She takes up 3/4 of the King size bed that we were in. It is ridiculous. Since I left Brian in charge of packing we had no pack and play (porta-crib) for her to sleep in. We were destined for a long, uncomfortable night.

Saturday we woke up, got ready frantically, because Averie was making noise and we didn't want to wake the sleepers on the sides of us. We headed to Denny's for some breakfast, and then off to watch some more softball. The team stunk it up even more on Saturday. Just didn't look like they had it together. Nothing really sounds fun in any of this, but it was. I just enjoy being outside in nice weather, and nice weather is what we had. Even the evenings were nice. 

After a short drive home the chaos began. I made arrangements for my Mom to pick up Anessa's dress from alterations, because I knew we would not make it back before they closed. The plan was (deep breath) to drop Nessa off to get a pedicure, go to my Mom's pick up the dress, and drop off Averie so Brian and I could go to the Sheldon vs. Mitry Championship basketball game at Sleep Train Amphitheater. Run on!!!! Who cares though. The game was fun, even though Sheldon lost. Nessa went stag to prom so she said it was kind of lame. She only had about an hour and a half to get ready, and she had to do everything herself. I am sure if she had the whole day to prep she would have had a lot more fun. Oh and a date.

In a NUTSHELL.

Sunday, we are finally to the end of the weekend. Now this is where the fun starts. First thing Sunday morning, I get up at 7:30am to RUN! I laid out all my gear the night before, woke up in the morning and was off. I ran to the School and back. Which is about .11 miles each way, I said I was going to start easy. I noticed a couple of issues while I was running. My breathing is very inconsistent. I am congested so I know that is going to hinder my breathing a lot. I do need to figure out how to regulate it better while I am running. I think my legs could have gone for miles, if it weren't for my breathing holding them back. When I got home, I felt energized and ready to spring clean. I spent the rest of the day doing just that, shopping for Easter basket fillings, and cooking. Later when Ness woke up, she asked if she could take Averie and I out to lunch. Hell yeah! Right after lunch we stopped at Ulta. I love their 5 for $10 deals, especially when I have a $3.50 off coupon. Big Spenda. That was pretty much Sunday. I am looking forward to running again so much that I think I am going to do it again tonight. I am a little sore from yesterday, but not injury sore. I think I can work through it.

My First run. 3/17/13

Here is a review of my meals this weekend.

I had a very active two year old on Saturday so the only food I was able to take a picture of were the nachos. See under the basketball score board. *laughs*

Panera Bread with the kiddos

For dinner I had a bowl of pasta w/Parmesan and Brummel and brown, oh and there was dessert. Rocky Road ice cream, a hubby sized bowl. I was struggling towards the end of the bowl, and couldn't finish it. Oh but don't worry, I will finish it for you babe. Can't live without that guy.

This week should be a little calmer. Just kidding!!!!! Today, NO alarm set, so I woke up late. Got to work and my step daughter left her softball bag in my car. I had to call Grammy and see if she would pick it up. Making my husband late of course. Then I had to arrange for it to be dropped off in the school office. Then my youngest, Averie has an eye appointment today that I am not able to go to. I am not even going to get started on what I have to do today. All while being at work. Ugh. today might be a 2 post day.

Mud Run here I come!!!

Okay, so I have all the information for the mud run in Lathrop on April 6th. I have also found a running partner. Since I do have a two year old and 17 year old, my runs need to be scheduled. So we are starting with Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Begin with a mile and increase from there. I don't have a pedometer so tracking distance will be a problem, so the track will be our mileage tool. I am ready to go, so stoked. Mud run is in two weeks. My main goal will be to have fun, but I don't want to be last either. I can't wait to start, and my running buddy Shelly is just as excited. Any suggestions for a new runner? I have a pair of Nikes that I am hoping will be comfortable running shoes. We will soon see. The mud run is 5k, and I think that in two weeks I should be able to handle it. I am a very optimistic person. If you read 100 things about me you would have known that already. I am hoping that running will encourage me to eat better. Wish me luck....

Insta-Friday FUN!!!

I have not done an Insta-Friday in a long time. I think it is overdue, don't you? I noticed that there are a lot of pictures of me. Hmm.... I am not sure how that happened. I will have to fix that next week.

It's Friday, Friday, Friday!

TGIF, is right! I am so excited for Friday. There is a fun filled weekend ahead. Today Brian, the Boo Boo, and I are heading back to Pleasanton for more softball fun. Nessa hit a home-run last night that practically had me in tears. I love watching her play, even though I am chewing my finger nails through most of the game. It is worth it.

Brian is at home, and is in charge of packing our broad up (Oh sh**). I packed most of my things last night. We got home so late that I did it half asleep, so who knows what I am wearing. Bathing Suit can't forget to bring that. I have to text him, like now or else I will forget. I think I am a little nervous about him packing us up. I gave him a pretty detailed list. Here is hoping that nothing gets forgotten.

After Softball on Saturday, Nessa has her Junior Prom. She is going to have so much fun. Then the rest of the weekend will be spent relaxing and prepping for the start of yet another week. They are going so fast, and it feels like Spring is just around the corner. I am gardening this year, and so I have to get planting ASAP. Joe, my best friends hubby text me a picture yesterday of some veggies he planted in January. They were a couple inches tall, but that was it. I have not even started planting and it is March. Oh man, I think I might be in for a serious learning experience/curve.

I am also thinking about starting to run. I will be 30 this year and well I feel like I need to do some sort of activity. Something where I can be alone, exercise, and work off the stresses of the day. I think running might be the trick. I have to say that my inspiration for this has come from a Blog that I have been reading. Skinnychickblog.com. Her blog is great and I feel like I can relate to her. I guess over the next couple of months we will see if running is for me. I will have to start off slow. I am excited to try something different. My Best friend runs, and she is very fit, and seems very energetic. I want that. *smiles*

Eating is a big thing with me, and lately (with exception of yesterday). I think I have eaten pretty well. Normally, eating is a challenge. I do not have a very big appetite. I think that maybe I will start to track my days eating adventures. Hehe, not sure if that will actually happen, but it's worth a try. Here is this week in a nutshell. I am not very good at remembering to snap pictures of dinner. Geeze I am already off to a bad start, I only have Wednesday, and Thursday's meals. Lol, I will learn.I have a feeling that these pictures are going to get a lot smaller.

Well I have a couple of goals this weekend. Keep better track of my meals, and just relax, and get some much needed sleep. Have a good weekend everyone.

*100* things about me (Part 4)

Here are the last 25 things about me to make it a round 100. I hope you enjoyed getting to know me. I learned some things about myself in this process. It gets you thinking about who you are for sure.

76. I would rather go all natural, (the left photo). But I know I look better with eye lashes. 

77. I could go days without eating, and not be hungry. 

78. I drive a glorified station wagon. Dodge Magnum to be exact. We are very loyal to DODGE.

79. I love to dance!

80. I am very trusting, even when I should not be. 

81. I have little patience for stupidity.

82. Thursday's are my favorite day of the week. It means the weekend is close.

83. I love natural light. 

84. Reading to my daughter is one of my favorite things to do. 

85. I love apartment living, the free gym, pool, no lawn work, and paid utilities. If we could we would.

86. I am in love with Tiffany, but who isn't.(these are my rings, and yes they need to be cleaned)

87. I am tracking what I eat, and I call it, "Eat Like Me." I stole that from a blog that Self used to run on their website. It is gone now. *frown*

88. Honestly, I am starting to struggle.

89. My 2 year old has a bank account, but my 17 year old does not. 

90.  We need to buy a king sized bed. My husbands feet hang off our Queen.

91. My favorite animal is a koala bear. No clue why, always has been since I was a little girl. 

92. I am obsessed with GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. I think we ordered 15 boxes this year and they are almost gone.

93. I hate being called PAT!

94. I have always wanted to live in a big city. Sacramento is big, but I mean really big. 

95. Coca Cola, is a drug. Seriously. I feen for coke. 

96. If I could put pictures up everywhere in my house, I would. 

97. Self, and Parent magazine are my favorite. 

98. I don't use Twitter. I just don't have that kind of time.

99. I like the idea of camping, but don't actually enjoy it. 

100. I am going to be 30 this YEAR and I don't know where the time has gone.

Watch Sheldon on the Surewest Sports Show

Softball Preview - Top Ten

http://www.surewestsports.com/sports-show

10. Christian Brothers
9. Consumes Oaks
8. Pleasant Grove
7. Whitney
6. Roseville
5. Sheldon
4. Elk Grove
3. Casa Roble
2. Ponderosa
1. Woodcreek

*100* things about me (part 3)

Things are going down hill fast. Averie Lynn kept me up all hours of the night. We are talking I only got maybe 3 hours of sleep. So I went from a confident and fashionable start to the week, to this.

What happened?

51. I could not drive happily without Sirius.

52. I actually like the Twilight Saga. 

53. I love decorating, but don't have the time or motivation to do it. 

54. I do not believe in big foot, the lock ness monster, or ghosts.

55. I don't think that I will ever be well slept again.

56. I am super optimistic, even in the worst situations.

57. I love grocery shopping. It is like my therapy.

58. Averie Great Grandma is her daycare provider, and we could not be luckier.

59. I turn 30 this year, and I am actually scared, nervous, and anxious all at the same time.

60. I love painting my finger nails. I paint them a natural flesh color. 

61. I love watching baseball. Go BRAVES! Opening day in 20.

62. I don't like going to the movies really. I feel like you get to the theater during the heart of the day, and when the movies over so is the day. Wasted. 

63. My favorite restaurants are... Lucca, Spatarro, Strings, and Todo un Poco.

64. My favorite pizza in the whole wide world is Woodstock's, in Davis.

65. My favorite sandwich in the whole wide world is the Lucca, at Zia's Delicatessen in Davis.

(Davis puts out some good food.)

66. Crock pot meals are a life saver. 

67. Even though I am not pregnant anymore, I still take a prenatal vitamin everyday. 

68. I cannot wait to take Averie to Disneyland, we are planning a trip for her 5th birthday.

69. I was a swimmer and diver in High School.

70. My Stepdaughter goes to the same High School I went to. 

71. Everyone who told me things would change when I had a baby were right. I denied it daily. I was wrong.

72. This is actually harder then you think.

73. I am not a vegetarian, but my meat intake is minimal.

74. I only like kosher hot dogs, if they are not kosher I will not eat them.

75. I have my belly button pierced. But I don't put a ring in it anymore.

*100* things about me (Part 2)

I just have to say that this Tuesday feels a lot like Monday, anyone else having a rough time change transition? I am so tired!!!!

Onward to the next set of 25 things about me. This is shaping up to be a 4 part deal, if it was not obvious before.

26. I am not a morning person, although I wish to be badly. 

27. I am the treasurer on the Sheldon Softball Booster Board, but I suck at math. Hmm.....

28. I think sixes like me. My birthday is 6/6, my daughters birthday is 2/6, my childhood house address is 6, and my dating anniversary with my husband is 9/16. 

29. I could not live without my IPhone. I might actually implode.

30. I love to look at pictures in magazines, not read them, just look at the pictures. 

31. My least favorite chore is sweeping/mopping. We have hardwood so I have to do one to do the other. 

32. My first job was Togo's Baskin Robbins. Second Rite Aid.

33. It is a lot of work to put makeup on in the morning, so I don't most of the time.

34. I am 5.5' and my Husband is 6.2'.

35. I am not very good at holding grudges, I just want PEACE!

36. I look forward to my BIRCHBOX, ELLIE, and BLUMM deliveries every month. I think I have an addiction.(ask for info on any of these, I am more than happy to explain what they are.)

37. I love to celebrate all holidays, even the cheesy ones. 

38. I still shop at AE, and Forever 21 at 29 years old. 

39. I take my MomAgenda out daily. I love writing things in it, even though that means making me even more busy.

40. I work an 8 hour day, but probably only get 5 hours of work completed. (I love my job)

41. I hate being a weekend Mommy. I want to be a SAHM. 

42. I want to make my blog mainstream, but don't know if I have what it takes. 

43. The scar on my cheek is from falling out of the bathtub when I was little. 

44. I was born in South Carolina.

45. My favorite candy is a Milky way dark. 

46. I wash my jeans after every use. I like the way fresh washed jeans fit. 

47. I tried Indian food for the first time at 29 years old.

48. I get annoyed when I text people and they do not text me back, THAT DAY!

49. Currently I have had a cold for a month! Ridiculous. 

50. I would love to move to either San Diego, or the east coast. Somewhere like Massachusetts, or Maine. Two extremes right.

Check back tomorrow for Part 3.

*100* things about me (Part 1)

I saw this on another blog and thought that it might be a good idea. Maybe if you are a reader and don't really understand when I talk about certain things the way I do, this will help. Oh, and it is fun. They are things you rarely think about even though they are part of who you are.

1. I love watching the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. My husband says that it is grounds for a divorce. So you think you can dance, X-Factor, American Idol (not so much this season), The Carrie Diaries, Guiliana and Bill, The Rachel Zoe Project, Smash, Glee, Girls, the Amazing Race, and Nashville. I watch a ton of television. All recorded. Commercials are not friendly!

2. I love Tops frozen yogurt, and only getting fruit toppings. 

3. I love Musicals. Examples, Rent, Singing in the Rain, The Sound of Music, Fiddler on the Roof, Mama Mia (the play and movie). 

4. I want to travel the world, Italy, Greece, Spain, and France to name a few. 

5. I love the RAIN! 

6. I love to have fires in the fireplace and drink hot cocoa. 

7. I love skiing, in the snow or water.

8. I dislike all the Star Wars movies.

9. I love all the Nicholas Sparks novels, and movies.

10. I love to clean. Minor case of OCD.

11. I love to shop! Understatement of the YEAR!

12. I dislike sarcasim, even though I participate in it.

13. Sorry for the negative stuff, but I also dislike gum popping, chewing with your mouth open, slurping, any food related noise.

14. I am not a fan of war movies.

15. I love the History, and Discovery Channel.

16. I am compulsive about getting organized, but I never feel organized.

17. I would eat pasta everyday if I could.

18. I have coffee for breakfast.

19. I think I am a better person because of my Best Friend.

20. Love the summer! 

21. I wipe snot on my Joe's Jeans.

22. I cannot gain weight to save my life. 

23. My favorite color is Purple, but I don't own anything purple.

24. I would rather spend money on my kid, then on myself. 

25. I love to shop online, but am too scared to buy anything.

Part 2 Tomorrow.

Fast Weekend

The weekend went really fast. It always does for me, but for some mysterious reason this past weekend went even faster. I think the reason might be that Averie and I had so much fun together. Anessa and I spent some time bonding as well. Shopping bonding that is. I love to shop in general, but I am in love with shopping when I can do it with my Best Friend. Too bad she lives all the way in North Carolina. We text shop, but it is not the same. Luckily she is coming home in May and we can catch up. I have also noticed this weekend how easily I can get off topic. I lost myself already. So the good weekend. Averie and I went to the park and played hard. She loves the swings, and slides. I love watching her too. Something so simple gives her such pleasure. We also did a lot of running around, which kept the day passing. Man what I would give to stay home with that little girl! I just need more time with her that's the bare bottom line.

The thing with weekends is that there are not enough of them. But if there were too many, they would not be as fun as they are, and I probably would not look forward to them as much. Maybe I am wrong, but things always seem to work out to be that way. Can't have too much of a good thing, it tends to loose its luster.

The calendar for this month is filling up fast. Junior Prom for Anessa is this Saturday, but she has a tournament the same weekend, so she may not be able to go. We have the dress, shoes, makeup, and hair accessories, just in case. Nothing like spending, oh I don't know, 250 bucks on a dance she may not even be able to attend.  Makes me sick just thinking about it. I am pretty sure that it cost about the same when I went to prom, oh a zillion years ago (j/k it feels like that). Averie has her two year appointment at the end of this month. I am excited to see how much she has grown. Talk about raising a weed. Let's see what else exciting is happening. I think I am tapped out. It is a slower month than I thought. St. Patrick's day is coming up. Anyone have any exciting plans? Green Beer, or corned beef and cabbage?

Speaking of cabbage. I have decided this year to start a garden. I bought, pumpkin, tomato, romaine lettuce, carrots, onions, jalapeno, cherry tomato, cilantro, parsley, basil, thyme, sweet pea, and scallion seeds. I am thinking I still need watermelon, and zucchini. Since I have not started to plant yet, they can obviously hold off. Brian even said he would make me a planter box this season. I think it is the only way to garden when you are renting. I love fresh vegetables in the summer. Hopefully this will save us some moola, and give us yummy veggies. It cost me almost 30 bucks so far, so I am keeping my fingers crossed that the investment is less than the return.

Let's see some weekend pictures compliments of INSTAGRAM.

Adventures with Averie...

           This is what happens when Daddy, and Anessa go away for the weekend. Averie goes CRAZY!

A Jumble of Stuff!

If someone were to come up to me let's say one month ago, and asked me how this year was going. I would have responded with, "Ugh I don't want to talk about it." However if someone were to ask me that same question now. I would respond with, "Man so far so good." This response is in part to a few things.

Let's begin...My Husbands job is very unreliable (stress inducer), in a reliable kind of way, and currently things are moving pretty consistently. (If you know me you understand this a little better) My stepdaughter Anessa is doing really well this softball season. She is having a spectacular high school season, which in turn means less yelling in my house.

I am on the Board for the Softball Booster club, which is stressful, but at the same time gets me out of the house forcing me to be social. I need to be more social. That is with people outside of the work place, and my house. I am still working full time BLAH. Which I would love to change, but my job is great, so if I have to do it five days a week. I am glad I do what I do.

Averie is FANTASTIC. She is doing my social leg work for me. She is a member of My Gym (totally recommend this for all kids of all ages), she goes to music class, library time, aqua therapy, and has weekly visits with therapists at the house. She is two now, and running a muck. She pulls towels out of cabinets and ALL her clothes out of their drawers. I would have gone nuts, if you had told me that my kid would do this some day. Ironically, I love watching her, and don't mind picking them up three times a day either. She is the twinkle in my eye, and the soul to my heart.

What am I missing.....

 Brian and I will be celebrating our 3 year anniversary in May. I will be turning 30 in June. CRAP!!! 30. When did that happen. I guess that is what happens when you blink too much. I will try harder to restrain myself in the coming years. I have been sick a lot this year, and I think all the germs are slowly brainwashing me. I am really concerned about how I spend my time lately. Meaning, more time with family, less time arguing. More time enjoying the people around me, less time arguing. Do you see where this is going? I know that every marriage has their ups and downs, but this year I wanted things to be different. That is why I would have responded with, " Ugh I don't want to talk about it." at the beginning of the year. Like I said, things are starting to look brighter, and I am starting to feel a little higher. I am more organized, finally! I am in a better place, (at the moment) Fingers crossed this extends to the end of the year.

We have had lots of events so far. Sheldon Softball Club had their annual Tri-tip dinner. My Grandpa went. Thanks Grandpa. We had a pretty good time, even though we did not win anything in the raffle, there is no feeling like spending a wad of cash on raffle tickets and winning nothing. I know what you are all going to say it is for a good purpose. Screw that I wanted to win a prize!  I was pretty busy running around doing board member like things, but I managed to get some Grandpa/Family time in. The food was fantastic!

I got my Hair done! This took forever. Casey at Luxi Spa did a great job. 

Jeremy's band the Destroyer played at the Ace of Spades in February. I hear they did a great job. I was not able to go, but I checked out the set on Facebook the day after. They have their own Facebook page if ylu want to check it out. I have to warn you, it is SCREAMO music. Travel ball for Anessa has slowed some, so there is not much to report on that front. High school is in full swing. Which is exciting and she is doing well as I said before. I love watching her play. Junior Prom is this month, so get ready for some pictures of that soon. Averie, Anessa, and I are going to the Picture People tomorrow to get Averie's 2 year old photos taken, and some shots of Anessa and Averie for Father's day for Brian. Oh no, hopefully he doesn't read this.Things seem to be moving along quite swimmingly. A few minor bumps, but nothing life altering.

Well I am a lazy slub, so I made a little collage to sum up the last couple of months that I have been away from blogging. I still enjoy blogging, and still want to do it. I just need to make the time. Like I said things are starting to iron out a bit, so I should be able. Enjoy.

Averie on a walk, Getting on the road for the Sheldon Game, Spud Shack in Old Sacramento, Tulips I didn't know we had blooming, Averie cheesin' and El Meson on V-Day, My V-day present from Brian (Starbucks!), The Varsity Sheldon Softball Team, and the Boo Boo. Nothing but smiles that kid!

Mom on her 50th B-day at the Spa, Going in for my Facial, My Fav Cookbooks, Cork Project, Anessa in her Junior Prom Dress, Averie at the Softball Game. Sportin' Gear!

Averie's First Haircut 1/27/13

My baby girl's first haircut!

The 1st RANT of 2013!

I feel like sometimes I am just not understood. Maybe it is that I am not explaining myself well, or maybe I don't feel things like others do. Or does everyone feel things differently. I am so confused and conflicted that I can barely write this post. I know how things make me feel, and I don't think I am confusing when I explain myself. My desire I guess is that others would have the patience and desire to want to understand me, maybe even sympathize. Not sympathize, but relate. EXACTLY relate! I am a very compassionate person, and I am very patient when trying to understand others. I guess I would just like the same in return. I would like nothing more on this earth but for everyone in my family to be happy. I know that is a hard task to accomplish but it is my desire.

I try to do everything I can to make sure that the environment that we all live in pleasant {which is a lot of work}, that they have everything they want {that I am capable of giving them}, and that at the end of the day everyone is relaxed, and well HAPPY. It is my number one goal.

If there were more that I could do I would do it without hesitation. I don't think that there will ever be a limit to how much I can give. If there were I would ignore it. In return, I am not asking for the equivalent of this. No way! I know that this kind of dedication takes a special kind of person. Totally understood. Hell, I am not even asking for half. I just want someone to get me. Know what I am trying to say and understand it, without me trying to explain it in four different ways. This has been an ongoing problem. I don't know if it is "normal".  I do know that it makes me feel very inadequate. I am in a sort of limbo between feeling great and feeling just so so. It is a hurdle that I thought I could figure out myself. I thought I could just change the way I see things, or even think. I am too a point where that is not working, and the problem still persists. A lot has changed in the past 6 years regarding my personality. I am less argumentative. Don't get this wrong I still argue, I am just better at picking my battles. It is really hard. I am passionate about a lot in life. I have very strong opinions that I have learned to suppress. I have become angrier. I think that comes with having a teenager. The frustration is unbearable sometimes. My husband will understand me on this one.

Even with everything that I have changed, and those changes were not easy. I am still working on them daily. I am still in this situation. I guess I thought that making myself more passive would make this easier too. I was way wrong. I admit that sometimes I am selfish, and overbearing, maybe even a little controlling. These things do affect the way that I am perceived, and maybe......understood? Could they?

I have faults like everyone else. I think the difference is that I am able to admit them. When I am arguing with someone, and I am sure that I am right, I interrupt them while they are speaking so I can get my points in. Fault. I tend to tune people out when they are talking about something that does not interest me, or that I have heard 10 times already. Fault. I am easily stressed out and not quiet about it, so I usually end up stressing everyone around me out. Fault. The kicker... I am needy, I often feel like everyone around me gets lots of attention and I do not. I am only looking for attention from one very important person. Fault.

There it is on a silver platter. I know who I am, and the person I want to be. Everyday I am working towards being her. The conflict is, how am I supposed to be that person around someone who is constantly questioning who I am. Someone, who when I have discussions with doesn't seem to want to understand or hear my point of view. Who doesn't care about the way things are said and how they might affect others.

I used to say a while back, "That I can't control the way you feel, that's on you". I see now that this is a cop out. This is a way to avoid taking responsibility for the words you speak. The reality is that your words have the ability to hurt someone. Make them feel insecure and unwanted. You have to recognize the power that your words can have over someone. I need to do more of this as well. "Think about what you say before you say it." That is what my mother always said, and it could not be more true. I was pretty immature for thinking that I was not at fault for making someone feel bad. I take the blame for that one.

People can think things and feel things, but if those feelings and thoughts have the ability to hurt someone you love isn't it better that they not be said. What good comes out of hurting someone, unless your intention is to hurt them. I have probably said things or done things to hurt someone unintentionally. I am sorry. I have no problem apologizing for the way that I made someone feel, I would never let my pride get in the way of understanding the way I made someone feel. My thoughts are better off being kept to myself at that point. I don't want to make anyone's life more challenging, or make someone's day more aggravating. I don't want to be the root of problem.

I am willing to do anything, ANYTHING for my family, and I love unconditionally. I am literally there through the thick and the thin, the good and the bad. As far as I am concerned there are no other options. I want a partner in all this. I want to be a part of a supportive team. I want the willingness to be understood.

I would not call this inspirational. It is far from. It is informative. I hope that it is UNDERSTOOD.

I admit that this is a bunch of rambling. I am currently feeling inadequate, and like I don't matter much. No sympathy wanted here, just understanding. Life often gets in the way of thinking sometimes. We get stressed out or overwhelmed and those emotions take over our frame of mind. Leaving little regard for others. Truth. This disregard actually makes life more difficult. There is no worse feeling, than feeling alone is all the struggles.

Swinging with Averie

My little cutie. She is having such a good time.

Averie eating a french fry {It's the simple things}

Don't forget the small things in life. It is moments like these that make me SMILE.

 My little girl on the car ride home from Clovis. She loved seeing her cousins.

Update on Miss Averie

Here is my little girl. She is getting so big so fast.

 

My 2nd Birthday Photo

Merry Christmas 2012

A Fresh *Start*

There is no better time that RIGHT NOW for a fresh start. It is the beginning of a new year, 2013, which means I can make as many new years resolutions as I want and not keep one. *smiles* This year is going to be different  I am not going to make even one new years resolution, and I am not going to set hundreds of unattainable goals for myself, or project high expectations on myself for the future. The reason that I have decided to not do any of those things, is because.... Last year I tried to set some goals, and expectations for for myself, and the majority of them ended with me being disappointed.  Things happen in life that you don't prepare for or expect. That is LIFE right. My goals did not sit well through the ups and downs of 2012. Leading me to feel like I had failed. It was not worth all the agony. So, this year I am going to take things day by day, and see how things go. I think deep down in my subconscious I am still creating mini lists of things that I wish to accomplish. But I will try my hardest not to be disappointed if they are not reached by the end of the year. Maybe they can be life goals. I guess my OCD gets the best of me at times.

I have lots of things to look forward to this year. Averie's birthday is next month, so I am planning that. It is going to be so much fun. We are having a butterfly birthday party. I am making a lot of the decor so if there are any suggestions for me. Fell free. We are planning to take a few vacations this year too. They are well overdue. They will probably be small vacations but hopefully still relaxing. I will be 30 this year. Where has the time gone. What I would give to move back home. I liked when Mom and Dad took care of me. Man I had it made. My Mom will be 50 this month. Sorry Mom, but I love you and 50 is something to be really proud of. My Dad turned 50 in November. We all had a blast. Thanksgiving came quick so I did not get a chance to talk about what we did or share photos. I always say that I am going to post photos, and never do. So until I get a new laptop (hint, hint) I will probably be on a photo hiatus. My daughter and husband have destroyed my current laptop. As long as I never want to tab, or type the letter d, or b, I guess I could still use it.

I am still getting a Birchbox every month, I love getting them in the mail. On a bad day they instantly make me feel better. I have also signed up for this new thing called PV body. You have to look into it. The first package I received had a pair of yoga pants from American Apparel and a PV body tank. It was very cool, and the sizes were perfect. It is a little expensive, but the thought is that if I have workout clothes to wear, maybe I will work out. I will let you know how that goes though. Brian and I are also going to start looking into buying a home. Not this year, but maybe next. We have both bought homes in the past and lost them to foreclosure. That market crash got the best of both of us. So we are a little leary about buying again. We are thinking maybe a townhome. Nessa will be out of the house and it will just be the three of us. I guess that would be something that we have to look more into.  I am definitely taking it slow this time.

This is where I sit with the year 2013.  I am not sure what it will bring. I am not sure what to expect. I am going to just take it all in stride. I want to be happy, and I think this will  help. It all starts right after this post. A four day weekend. It involves some cleaning, packing of christmas things, and shopping for my little girls 2nd birthday party. Let the good times roll!

Averie's 2nd Birthday Invitation

Peppermint Striped Girl Birthday Invitation

Create funny birthday cards at Shutterfly.com.

View the entire collection of cards.

 There is just one problem. It says to RSVP by January 19th and I will not have them out in the mail until the 22nd. Oh no!